RelationshipsTo forgive or not to forgive. When a partner cheats

To forgive or not to forgive. When a partner cheats

We all make mistakes in our romantic relationships. That is a given. It is said that the key is communication and we should talk things out and forgive and forget.

But what happens when your significant other makes a mistake that you can’t seem to go back from. How do you forgive a cheating partner, when does one forgive and does it seem weak to do so? How do you deal with infidelity?

One way is not to decide straight away, give it some time and mull over it for a bit. Nothing is that urgent, take your time to process the knowledge or information and also to be absolutely sure that it really was cheating.

This is always easier if the other person confesses but if they don’t and it’s something that you saw or suspect, take time out to figure out how you want to confront him or her about this. Get an emotional hold and brace yourself for the storm ahead.

Voice out your feelings
Tell your partner what you know, that you’ve found out about the cheating. Confront them and speak your mind. Honesty in communication is always the best policy not matter how emotionally painful.

What next
This one is very subjective. Whether a person should forgive someone who has been unfaithful depends on what type of relationship they want to have and how they want to handle things going forward. Learning to forgive and forget is not impossible but takes a lot of effort and time.

It’s never right but it’s important to understand why
Cheating is harmful and wrong and it is important to understand that forgiveness does not mean that you condone this behaviour. When people enter into a relationship it is for mutual love, respect and fidelity and cheating is perceived as the ultimate form of betrayal for most.

Why and how this happens
Infidelity can occur for any number of reasons. It maybe that one partner is bored or his or her emotional needs are not being fulfilled. Rather than expressing what is wrong, they look to fill the void elsewhere.

Cheating can also happen as a result of seduction, the desire for someone new, lack of self-esteem or an insecure feeling. Ultimately the decision to cheat is a choice.

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How to let go of the anger and the feeling of betrayal
Holding on to negative emotions is never a good idea but don’t give your partner opportunities to let you down more than once. If they do express deep regret and express their love for you but you don’t see any real change and it keeps happening. Walk away. You don’t have to engage in an endless loop of sadness and disappointment.

Put yourself first
If you can no longer trust your significant other and you no longer feel safe or comfortable, choose to forgive but you don’t need to stay on in the relationship. This includes letting go of the desire for revenge too.

Forgive for your own peace of mind
Holding a grudge is mental torture. Your mind and emotions will wreak havoc on your body. When you forgive and choose to move on, you benefit the most. Your mind is an important asset and there are more important things to consider than to let this occupy that space.

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You do not have to forgive someone who is lying and unrepentant about their actions and it won’t happen just because the other person apologizes. But forgive yourself for getting involved with such a person and remember that time heals all wounds. Give it time.

Forgiveness will ensure your mental and emotional health. By doing this you reduce anxiety, anger, stress and aggression. Depression is reduced and your heart and immunity functions better too.




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